passimclamoribus

[ If Alastor was expecting Lucifer to take affront to being scooped up and carried off like his darling daughter's royal station deserved, well. That hope is put to bed by how Lucifer gleefully waves over his shoulder at the gaping audience, perched happy as can be in Alastor's long arms.

Even when they're out the hotel door and gone from sight, Lucifer only twists back around and settles himself more comfortably in the princess carry of Alastor's embrace. ]

Now, onto the hat store!

[ He gestures down the road — onwards, noble steed! ]

[ Yeah no one knows just what happened here. Two fools too full of pride to truly allow for the other to get one over on them. Alastor might not know what the game of "Chicken" is, but that's exactly what is happening here.

Since Lucifer is so HAPPY being in his arms - he's actually a bit heavier than anticipated - Alastor has to ruin it as they walk. ]

Enjoying the view, Your Majesty? I imagine it is quite the rare thing indeed!

It's not much, really. You get a much better vantage with wings.

[ Ha HA. Try bragging about being higher than that, asshole! Sure, Alastor can turn into some stupid big deer monster, but he can't soar into the sky to taunt angels. Just thinking about how he'd ruined Adam's day with that trick has Lucifer remaining unfazed by Alastor's attempt at a dig at his height. ]

Still, I'm surprised how well you're doing! [ A flick of his fingers and he has a little flag, proudly proclaiming "A+". ] Usually you don't think of deer as making for good rides.

Edited 2024-03-12 23:25 (UTC)

A fair point, I suppose.

[ Now waitaminute. Alastor isn't dropping him. Isn't put out by the lack of a reaction. If anything he just. Seems. More. Amused.

Maybe because they are now out of the hotel. In public. Lucifer might not care too much about appearances in general... But what about what others might say regarding him and Alastor, hmmm?

So excuse him while they walk because Alastor adjusts Lucifer in his hold. He brings up red fingertips to the angel's chin. ]

Now now, deerest, you really should be mindful of your word choices. Though I am ever so pleased that you are delighted with my services, might I suggest we keep such things private?

Edited 2024-03-12 23:57 (UTC)

[ Lucifer was in fact, bracing to be dropped on his ass, had a little flicker of magic all ready to go to save his derriere. But since he's not, and is still cradled in Alastor's arms, okay. He permits the touch to his chin, even lets Alastor tilt his head up. What's baring your throat to a creature that can't hope to ever land a bite? ]

Ha. And deprive you of your rightful reward? The honor and accolades? Surely the good people of Hell deserve to know what a great service you're rendering unto their king.

[ Caring about what people think of him? Caring about how tender Alastor's touch looks, or what someone might theorize if they overhear? Ha ha, won't catch Lucifer thinking about that! This is a battle that Alastor's posed and he's not about to lose it!

Even if that means he's princess carried all the way to the center of Pentagram City. ]

[ Oh he is certainly tempted to drop the other. Tempted, but Alastor isn't going to be outdone here. He isn't going to give Lucifer the satisfaction of thinking that the Radio Demon is turning tail to any confrontation. Not with this one. ]

Reward? I wasn't aware that I was receiving one. [ Just going to draw that finger up a bit and boop! Right on that non-existent nose. ] It's absolutely adorable that you don't realize the far reaching consequences of being seen in this way with me.

[ Not explaining further! Just going to continue to stroll while playing something akin to a love song around them ]

[ He goes a little cross-eyed as he tries to stare as— as Alastor boops his nose. Ish. No one has ever done that to him before. What does it mean? He's distracted from that question by the airy tune floating around them. What is Alastor playing at? ]

Are you— Are you trying to imply people will think we're dating?

[ That's— ha! He starts laughing, manages to get out: ]

You'd be lucky if I ever gave you the chance to take me out!

Oh my dear little king, do you really think with our marvelous population, their first thought would be dating? [ Alastor is the one laughing now. ] Your innocence is endearing.

[ Yeah, no. Sinners won't think that they are merely dating. Not with Alastor allowing for anything close to physical contact on this scale. Carrying around the King of Hell? Of course thoughts are naturally going to stray to the bedroom. Distasteful as it might be, seeing Lucifer potentially squirm is worth it. To dangle this in front of him is something to be savored.

In fact, if Lucifer is really looking around he'll notice that Sinners are stopping. Staring. Getting out their phones. Most aren't so foolish to try to take a picture of the Radio Demon. But Sinstagram isn't only video and photos... ]

As for taking you out, why my dear, I think I already have "taken you out!" Did I not just scoop you up into my arms and walk out of the hotel's doors?

[ Lucifer sighs, shoulders slumping — if that makes it look like he's cuddling into Alastor's hold, well, the damage has already been done, he can't make it look any more like they're fucking. He makes a face up at Alastor. Sinners! They're always so damn crass. ]

I know the population's made up of degenerates! [ His first thought would have been dating, that's all! ] You're one of them, anyway. You did that on purpose.

[ Why Alastor wants people to think they're fucking... well, he honestly can't guess. And he can feel people staring, of course. They usually do when he goes out in public, but this is even worse, like their eyes are boring into him, scooping bits out, trying to eat him up— Ugh. ]

If you think that's enough to bother me, you've forgotten exactly who I am. [ Alastor wants to make them an item? Fine! He's not backing down! He grabs hold of Alastor's collar and drags him down, nose to nose. To anyone watching, it surely looks like a kiss as he hisses: ] Maybe I should remind you.

Edited 2024-03-20 00:50 (UTC)

My flavor of degeneracy is quite different than your typical. Please don't insult me over something you started.

[ Calling him some kind of steed or the like. Really, Lucifer walked right into this situation. Practically begged for it. Alastor can walk away from ridiculous challenges usually. Things that he doesn't feel the need to engage in. Yet with Lucifer, he just can't. He can't bring himself to just step away. It's like the thought doesn't even occur to him. Though he does take offense to some of this. Alastor is a lot of things, but not crass.

That's why he is continuing their little game. For him, it's not about the reputation or what others will say. Regardless, he will be feared and people will avoid coming into contact with him. What Alastor wants to know is how far Lucifer is willing to take this.

And Charlie isn't here to stop them from spiraling out of control. ]

You seem to think that your lofty title matters a whit to me, mon ange. [ It doesn't. Never has. Alastor gives no fucks that Lucifer is the King of Hell. Even with Lucifer suddenly pulling them nose to nose and making a threat, he doesn't care about that. Like he wants to push that boundary more as he pushes back into the other. ] I don't and it's doubtful I ever will, no matter what reminders you think to give me.

What? My title? [ Genuine confusion in his voice for a second before the irritation comes back with a vengeance. ] No, not that, who cares about that! I meant I'm the original sin, baby!

[ Complete with some sparkly red confetti glittering in the background to complete the manic fury in the air.

Yeah, about it looking like a kiss! Ha ha, that's so thirty seconds ago, because Lucifer is grabbing Alastor by the collar, taking a deep breath — that is, looking around from the corners of his eyes to make sure there's a good handful of sinners watching them — and drags Alastor right into a full on smooch.

A-HA, take that! ]

As if it still is something that ultimately makes any difference to me.

[ Because it doesn't. Again. Original sin. The sin of Pride. Why, Alastor would love to comment on the whole Pride coming before a Fall and how he wonders if it is really Lucifer that managed to have so much Pride. The little king doesn't seem the type, considering all those years of depression.

Alastor doesn't get to because that's when Lucifer strikes. His ears shoot straight up in surprise, and oh how Alastor is tempted to immediately drop him. It would be what he deserves to dare impose such a gesture on the Radio Demon. But the telltale sign of static in the air clues Alastor in on who else is watching this display. Vicious delight settles in his chest.

Alastor is not one to lose or back down. Fine then! Two can play at this game.

Where Lucifer is grabbing and yanking, Alastor will do just the opposite. Oh he'll make a show of delicately cupping Lucifer's cheek with his free hand and kiss back. Not without a small bite to a lip - because he can't resist a tiny bit of bloodletting.

Your move, Sin of Pride. ]

[ Oh? Oh? Alastor thinks a little maneuver like a bit of delicate hand to the cheek is enough to bother the devil himself? Ha! He may not know where Alastor's mouth has been (hopefully not near any deceased fellow sinners recently), but he's kissed far worse than the Radio Demon! Back in Heaven, angels were expected to kiss anyone and anything. Not on the mouth, of course, but whoo boy, does Lucifer have some stories to tell!

Point being! This? A little return smooching? Bring it the fuck on!

Gold smears across their mouths as Lucifer doubles down — slides one hand from Alastor's collar to cup the nape of his neck, fingers threading into the soft strands of his hair. He licks into Alastor's mouth, deepens the kiss, lets it turn messy and slow and nearly tender. Even hums into a little.

Top THAT, Radio Demon! ]

[ No, no. No devouring of sinners as of late. It's something he doesn't engage in too often due to the hotel, even if there are cravings. But one doesn't become charismatic enough to be both radio host and prolific serial killer without engaging in some... Activities. Thankfully kissing is where that would begin and end but hmm. Does Alastor have some stories to tell!

Though he would very much like it if Lucifer wouldn't up the ante? How can this fallen angel not feel one ounce of embarrassment? Probably the same way that Alastor doesn't right now - too riled up by the fact that he cannot let this creature n his arms succeed.

This is going to be everywhere in ten minutes and then maybe he'll have something to answer for. But that is a future Alastor issue. The King of Hell makes him unable to be rational at times.

But it's also that blood. That smear hits Alastor's tongue and there's no small amount of feedback that screeches, eyes turning black and red. So when Lucifer deepens that kiss, part of his brain shut down enough to seek out that other tongue. To almost devour, hand slipping to Lucifer's neck and pressing a clawtip against the pulse there. ]

[ Embarrassment? Embarrassment? That's a thing for LOSERS, and losing this contest of wills is the last thing Lucifer Morningstar's going to do! No matter what Alastor tries, he'll top it. No matter how far Alastor goes, he'll go farther! No matter how deep the kiss, he'll—

Be very thankful that Alastor can't actually see the way his cheeks are shining with a golden flush!

Because boy, when Alastor makes that screechy, staticky feedback noise? Well that's just the definition of gratifying. He did that. He did that to buttoned up, ice cold Alastor. He got Alastor to actually use tongue, and hey, the guy may or may not have much experience, but that doesn't matter when their tongues are twisting together, stroking, that effervescent hint of his own blood tinging everything fizzy and sweet.

The claw threatening to break skin only adds to the experience. A bit of threat — and Alastor not following through even as Lucifer sucks at his tongue. Pulls away just long enough to nick his tongue against his own teeth and dips back in. ]

[ Well then... They are going to end up in quite the predicament sooner or later. If neither one of them are willing to back down, especially in public then why. Val might not have to work out of his studio today! Not that... It will get that far. Though Vox is likely fuming at his screens right now.

Because it's true! Not just anyone can elicit such reactions from Alastor. No one, really. So yes that is a point for Lucifer. Alastor hates to admit.

But oh he's not stopping. Not stopping at all because that faint taste of the angel's blood is making him lap at lips and along the soft palate of the mouth. His grip tightens when Lucifer thinks to pull back, daring him to even try it. Short-lived since now it's Alastor with Lucifer's tongue in his mouth and -

Ringing. There's a distant tune starting to play and something vibrating between them. ]

[ There's something ringing, and Lucifer really doesn't care, because not only is Alastor kissing like a pro, but he's not letting Lucifer get away from kissing like a pro. A warm flush of satisfaction spreads through him as he feels that tug from the tightening grip. Yeah, not so unaffected are you, Alastor? Not so able to turn up your nose and act all holier than thou, huh?

He's about to go in for some more biting when the ringing changes tone.

Starts playing a familiar circus theme. The one reserved only for Charlie.

He snaps away from Alastor to frantically start digging in his pocket for his phone. ]

[ See, even Alastor is considering just. Frying that terrible, horrible piece of technology right now. How dare it interrupt him when he had been in the middle of -

In the middle of what, exactly? Devouring the tiny creature still tucked into his arms and panicking? Oh how nauseating - the fact that he's hardly distressed by the matter at all. What's unnerving is the fact that he is quite irritated at being interrupted.

Well! That is... Enough of that.

So while Lucifer fumbles, Alastor's tongue makes a swipe at his own lips before sweeping across Lucifer's - to keep up evidence of course and to maybe remind him THEY AREN'T DONE HERE. And then drops him. Just like that.

Continuing on their little walk! Yup! As if nothing had happened! Yeeeeeaaaah. ]

[ A blind moment of shock distracts him as Alastor licks over his lips— and then Lucifer goes tumbling just as he manages to scrabble his phone from his pocket and hit the answer call button. One startled yelp later and he's landing a quick stop an inch short of the ground. Angelic powers, occasionally good for something besides showy displays! ]

Yeah? No, nothing's wrong, we're fine, sweetie— Uh uh. Sure, we can pick that up. Yup. Love you, bye, Char!

[ He hangs up. Pushes himself to his feet, still not making contact with the ground, and brushes the nonexistent dust from his suit. Tilts his head back and glares up at Alastor. ]

Whatever happened to the dutiful protector shtick, huh buddy?

[ Well deserved irritation! Yep, that's all he's thinking about, what a pain in the ass Alastor is. Definitely not how his mouth still feels hot, how maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't stopped— Nope! Nope, just mad at Alastor time now! ]

[ Now that is disappointing. There is no satisfying thud of a body hitting the ground. Truly tragic. Alastor will just need to try again in a different way.

He doesn't eavesdrop on the conversation. That is only too easy. Instead he waits at a distance. Can rematerialized and touching the ground. Hands resting comfortably on top and perfectly back in control of himself. Alastor's gaze is easy as he observes the short king approach. ]

Well.~ [ Okay augh. He knows what he had just thought but he can't stop himself from riling up the other. So in that sing-song tone, fingertips reach out. Grasp at Lucifer's chin, a clawed thumb tracing over lips. ] Next time, if you so desire for our dear Charlie to overhear something that can be arranged!

[ Then just like that he releases the other. ]

Now. What was it she wanted us to pick up?

[ The audacity of this bitch! It's a good thing Alastor lets him go so quick, because it's just in time to avoid the very loud snap his teeth make as he goes for a bone-breaking bite. Fuck. Got his tongue. He wipes away some gold blood and glares. Maybe he can get the asshole next time. ]

My daughter is perfectly aware that I'm a grown man who may choose to engage in— relations. [ Oh god, was that what he was doing? Was that relations? With ALASTOR? No. No, couldn't be, it was just more of the usual refusing to ever let that dick win! Anyway, the thought of Charlie overhearing that is mortifying, he's not lingering on that! ] BUT. What she wanted was us to pick up some flour. Apparently there's been an accident during hands-on baking therapy.

[ Seeing Lucifer bite his own tongue makes Alastor chuckle. A waste of perfectly delicious blood though. Pity.

But then Lucifer says something... Interesting. Choose to engage in relations. The Radio Demon raises a brow. ]

Is that what we are doing? Engaging in relations?

[ The smug look is quickly replaced with one of irritation. His kitchen. Alastor can only imagine what sorts of accidents there could be involving flour and baking therapy. ]

Just who is responsible for this accident?

[ Relations. Engaging in relations. With Alastor. His brain goes blank for an entire ten seconds as he tries to process that. Which— no. No, impossible. There's no way. Absolutely not. With Alastor of all people?! Not a chance! Not even on a cold day in Hell! ]

We are NOT engaging in relations. [ He jabs a finger at Alastor's chest. ] That would require engaging in a relationship which, ha! With you? That's a good one, very funny! Ha ha ha!

[ He spends a moment sounding out each individual ha to make sure Alastor knows exactly how ridiculous he finds the concept. Once that's properly conveyed, he's willing to move on to the next order of business. ]

And I have no idea, she just said they'd run out of flour.

[ The whole four bags of it that he'd picked up for her last week in preparation for hands-on therapy day. ]

[ Where does he get off thinking that he can just jab Alastor in the chest? the Radio Demon snatches up that finger and moves it away from his person like it is diseased. ]

Need I remind you that it was you that engaged first.

[ Alastor reciprocated, but they don't need to get into those sorts of details! But when the clown is done laughing... He hums and turns around. Fine. Don't tell him. Alastor will figure it out once he arrives at the Hotel. ]

Well I suppose it is a good thing that I know of a place.

[ Heh. He hopes he's given Alastor cooties. ]

Uh, no, you definitely started this one. I was just finishing it.

[ You know, with the insistence on carrying him around like some helpless damsel in distress! Lucifer! He waves his hand dismissively, fixated on that and blissfully unaware of the twisty conspiracy theory being baked in Alastor's head. ]

Which is probably our cue that we should go visit your "place". [ He air quotes it. ] Unless you wanna risk them burning the whole kitchen down.

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